They say there is a first time for everything. And I would say that generally, I'm up for trying anything once. I mean, why not? Life's short, you only live once, blah, blah, blah. So today, I tried something that I've never done before. It's one of those things that looms on the outskirts of my reality. Something kind of dark, mysterious, a bit naughty even. Something my mother would surely not approve of. It piqued my curiosity enough to gather three friends together to try it.
Pole dancing. A tiny bit naughty, wouldn't you agree??
The ladies and I had purchased a Groupon a few months ago and it was about to expire. So we called Ashley (of course) at Vertical Addition (truth) and signed ourselves up for a beginner class at 9:30am (the sexiest time of the day).
I had visions of the space looking like Scores (not that I've been there), very dark and smokey with a stage and a shiny, gleaming pole front and center with a spotlight shining on it. Lots of surgically enhanced young, hard bodies contorting themselves into very unladylike positions. But in fact, it was a fairly plain room with some mirrors and five or six poles bolted into the ceiling.
Besides my ever so fabulous friends, the rest of the clientele was rather plain as well. With the exception of a rather large woman, who whipped out some knee pads and some sort of half-sock like contraption to make her spin around the pole faster. Yikes! She, I can promise you, would not make very much money at Scores!
But between all our nervous giggling, we did pretty well. The class started out with a "warm up" which included some rather suggestive hip circles and neck rolls (to really get the ponytail whipping around). She then had us stretching our hamstrings, because no one wants to pull a hammie on the pole! Finally, we ended our warm up with a full split. Which, I am proud to say, I was the only one that could do that!! Thank you yoga practice! My friends all called me a show off. :-)
We then took to the pole and learned a basic spin, something called a compass spin, and some sort of crazy floor move that's supposed to look sexy but was really quite a disaster. Finally a move where you pull yourself onto the pole, squeeze REALLY hard with your thighs and, if you're feeling very brave, release your arms out the the side. Ouch!! No seriously. Ouch!!
By this time in the class, we were all hysterical, though trying to be very serious as to not be rude to the other students who were all really serious. Ashley announces that it's time to dance, like, with the pole. Seriously, I'm not kidding. It was supposed to be freestyle, using the techniques she showed us and pulling it all together in some kind of hot stay-at-home-mommy meets 50 Shades of Gray routine. Well...I mean who can keep a straight face?? It was just too much.
By the end of class we all had lots of bruises up and down our legs (which is very sexy), tired arms and a whole new respect for the girls who can really work the pole.
Two of my friends said they'd definitely go back for more. One even said she wants to put a retractable pole in her bedroom! I can only envision some kind of epic pole disaster happening and having to explain to the kids why mommy has a traumatic brain injury.
As for me, I think I'll check that off my list of things I've done, not sure about a second class though.
But in the meantime, maybe I'll show off some of my new found skills to Mr. X this evening. That is, if I don't pull a hammie in the process!!
Peace and love.
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