Change is Good

Except when it's not.  I'm not a fan of change, never have been.  I'm good with the status quo.  I like knowing what to expect, what's coming next.  Which in life, I guess, is rather ridiculous because of course, we never know what's coming next.

I'm a girl that likes lists.  And schedules.  And I follow them to a tee.  I make lists for everything and I put a little check box next to the item on my list and when it's completed I actually put a check mark in the box.  I'm that girl.  My calendar is organized to perfection.  If it's not on my calendar, then it never happened or will never happen.  So if you need me for any reason, please make sure you get on my calendar.

Which brings me to a devastating email I got this week.  The yoga studio that I work and practice at is sadly closing next month.  The problem is that all my regular classes are on my calendar, which means that this change cannot be true.  I schedule my weeks around which classes I will attend and when I have to be there for work.  I look forward to seeing my teachers, who I have come to love.  I look forward to seeing the other people in the classes.  What am I going to do when Janice is not on the mat right behind me?  Or when Ed, who is probably in his seventies, rocks a handstand?  The thought of changing studios makes my head spin.  It's like being the new girl in sixth grade all over again.

Obviously, the biggest change in all this chaos, is for the studios' wonderful owner, who I have come to know and truly adore.  She is amazing and fearless and from the moment I took my first class from her, I thought, wow, I want to be like her.  She's just cool.  She has awesome tattoos and a vibe about her that I am jealous of.  So as selfish as I am being about how this change will affect me, I am equally concerned about how this will be for her.

When life throws you lemons make lemonade, right?  Wrong.  I hate that saying.  Sometimes you just have to bite into that sour lemon and feel the bitterness on your tongue before you can turn your attention to something sweeter.  Sometimes you just have to wallow in the sadness for a bit. Sometimes you have to let the walls crumble down on top of you before you can begin to dig your way out.

I hate change.  But I guess if I'm going to live in this world I better get used to it.

Maybe tomorrow I'll get really crazy and NOT put the check boxes next to my to do list.  That'll really shake things up.

Peace and love.