Boundaries

I've been thinking a lot about boundaries lately.  Boundaries are a very interesting concept to me. They can be good and they can be bad.  They can be limiting or freeing depending on how and when we need them. They can harm us or keep us safe.  There are physical boundaries and emotional ones.  They are quite a paradox.

As parents, we give our children boundaries, rules if you will, so they can grow up to be functioning adults later in life.  But if we put too many boundaries on them, then we risk sheltering them or worse, having them act out in dangerous ways as they grow.

As yogis, we try and see the good in everyone.  In the practice of Anusara yoga in particular, we learn to open our hearts to grace.  To let them shine from the inside out.  I realize that this may sound a little "out there" to some of you, but if you really look inward and try to be the best person you can be today, then you are able to see the goodness in others as well.

In a recent discussion about boundaries, a yoga teacher of mine said something that really connected with me.  She said, just because we try and see the good in others, doesn't mean that we will allow ourselves to be walked all over like doormats.  We can still be good yogis while allowing ourselves to have boundaries from the things that don't serve us well.  It's OK to let someone know, as kindly as possible, that what they are doing or saying is not OK with you.

We've all had friendships, relationships that have not served us well.  And depending on where you are in your life on that day, you may have allowed this toxic relationship to continue.  Sometimes we do it because we feel guilty speaking our truth.  Sometimes it just takes a while to realize that someone has invaded our space in a way that we don't like.

So it's our job to set the boundaries within our own lives.  Even if it means going through your mental Rolodex and cleaning house.  Ridding ourselves of relationships that no longer bring happiness, but rather cause us angst and anxiety.

It doesn't mean we're not good yogis.  It simply means that we will not let the unwanted enter the boundaries that we have set for ourselves.  It means that we are strong and that we love ourselves.

Take a minute today to really think about what your boundaries are.  Where do you draw the line? Is there someone who's invading your space?  If so, how will you handle it?

Peace and love.