Well I'm sure you are all anxiously waiting to find out if I decided to continue this journey or if I gave in to the hunger pangs. 24 hours without food is a long time, 48 even more. I never thought I could ever go two whole days without eating food, let alone 4! The last time I ate real food was last FRIDAY! So let me just pause for a moment to take you through the day.
Actually, it was a pretty uneventful day. Primo and Segundo had a few friends over to play, I got to catch up with a friend who I hadn't seen in a month and it was a bright, warm, amazing East Coast day. I had made a particularly yummy peach, pear, blueberry juice (antioxidants galore) around 2:00pm and all was good.
Around 4, the usual I'm getting hungry thoughts started to creep into my head, but I swept them under the rug with a beet, celery, carrot, kale, collards and apple combo. No problem.
Then the kids said they wanted pizza for dinner. Now I don't eat pizza anymore because I really think that vegan cheese smells like stinky feet and I just can't get my nose past that smell to eat it. And the few times I have bought one, I have just ended up throwing it out. It's oily, it doesn't melt right and that SMELL! It smells like what I imagine a teenage boys closet to smell like, I shutter at the mere thought of it.
So the kids were eating and I very innocently opened the refrigerator, more out of habit than anything else. When that damn tabbouleh that's been taunting me like a schoolyard bully for the last two days got the best of me. I grabbed it out of the fridge, cut half a piece of pita bread and grabbed the hummus. I measured out exactly 2 tablespoons of hummus and 1/2 cup of tabbouleh and packed the pita. I looked at for a minute and asked myself if it was something I really wanted to do. Would I regret eating it? Was I a complete failure? Would the last 4 days mean anything? Did I achieve that clarity and peace of mind that I was hoping for? And in the end I decided...
Fuck it! And I ate that damn sandwich. I did it. And I don't regret it. And it was really yummy! And I didn't go and binge on anything else. It was all I ate and it was completely satisfying. So there, I admit it, I ate something. That admission was completely cathartic. I think I just achieved that clarity and peace of mind.
And at least my belly won't be rumbling at 3:00am tonight.
Peace and love.
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